The Tree That Ate MotherMadrigal

Tree Owning Car

Christmastime is upon me, and concurrently on some of my friends and the cats. Last night was the tree trimming party, an annual occasion of mirth, ornaments and a bit of alcohol.
This year, as each guest entered they remarked on the size of the tree sitting on my car. One person actually asked if the tree was going to keep the car. Yes, it was huge, it was beyond any adjective one could think of for it's girth, it's breathtaking limbs, or the size of the double trunk. Since I am the weasel that gets other people to put the tree up, I failed to notice that the trunk of the tree might present some engineering difficulties. Oh, well, there were several engineers coming, they could surely handle it.

Tree Owning People

With much grunting, pulling, swearing, wetness and scraped open skin, the tree was launched into the main parlor. The smell of fresh pine was delicious, the cocktails made everyone's spirit bright, and we were into it. The struggle was only beginning. I had gotten the Green Giant of tree holders online. I knew that I had to have something to hold a 12' tree and this promised to be tip proof. They struggled, they cajoled, they used any available tool and finally the tree stood. Frankly it was so unbelievably large I feared that it could swallow a small child. It spread itself out into the room such that it felt like it had gone from owning a car to actually owning its own home.

It's Alive!!!

Hundreds of lights were strung, ornaments galore were placed on the outreached boughs, gold ribbon twirled around the tree and glass icicles gave the treat the verisimilitude of an outdoor tree. It was beyond a creation as we stood back to admire it. And then came Boomer; one lap around the tree for good measure and all of a sudden this behemoth came crashing towards the floor. Richard, who perhaps had more good spirit than most of us, made an amazing catch as the sound of glass reverberated in the air.

 And So This is Christmas

This was the time when most of the guests had either left or were leaving. Only Richard, Megan and myself remained amid the shambles. But Richard and Megan have such phenomenal spirit that they would not let this Goliath go. At 8P, while the flakes were falling Richard went to Home Depot to get a saw (Mother just doesn't have those things, they were taken away from me long ago). I ordered pizza for all of us and wondered if the tree could be salvaged. Undaunted Richard returns with a small saw and begins the task of trying to saw off some of the gynormous trunk so it could stand again. We were all stone cold sober by now. Richard sweating away with the saw, my wondering if this was a good idea and Megan throwing in ideas for how to wrestle the puppy into order.

And Just What Did I Do You Fools!!

By 9:30P the tree, now 5 feet shorter, stood with its outstretched arms once again enticing us to decorate it again. And so we did..but for good measure the tree is also bolted into the walls in case Boomer wants to make a return lap.