You Must Go Far to Find What is Near…

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed and frustrated by our Kenyan partners. It is almost the end of the month and still no records in sight. Charles and I worked hard this summer making up a chart they could fill out. Several revisions were made so that the language and what we were asking was understandable to the schools. I sent them letters encouraging them to get their records in on time, but it is the same old story. They just don’t do it. And I have come to wonder if it is possible to work in Kenya and not be seen as a donor instead of a partner.
I realize also that I miss the guidance I received from one of my retired board members. I need a sounding board and fresh ideas. Sometimes it is very lonely to carry this project despite all the amazing folks willing to lend a hand at supporting it. Sometimes I wonder if it is my own ego that drives this project not what God asks of me.
Two nights ago I felt real despair, as I am prone to do from time to time. In the last moments of the night before it becomes morning I prayed. I asked for some sign, something that would let me know to keep on keeping on. And I fell into restless sleep.
Yesterday my church was sponsoring the Zimbabwe Children’s Choir. I had sent several emails around inviting people. A couple of people said they would come. I was tired and dispirited after work yesterday, but felt I had to go and support these children whose courage and joy shone in their faces. I was driven more out of obligation than desire to hear another group of African children sing. I was feeling somewhat jaded since it is so much a part of my journeys to Africa. But I went; I put on my African clothes and I went.
I arrived early to greet my friends who said they were coming, but they did not show up. Instead there was a quiet African man sitting at a table. I began a conversation with him. He was Kenyan. We greeted each other in Swahili and lo and behold, he was Luhya. However as we began to get to know each other I found out he had done exactly what we are trying to do, only in Tanzania. And he had been successful!! We were excited to share stories but the concert was about to begin.
I listened and watched the children. I was struck with the differences of their dance and instruments. Theirs is much softer than the urgent beat of the Kenya drums. Their dance is much more restrained than the pounding and shaking of the dances I see. I longed to see my children dance at Manyole and Mabunge. I wanted to go home again to Kenya.
In the end Phillip and I exchanged information and knew that each of us had found something we were searching for. I told him of my prayer, and in his elegant, quiet way he held my hand and told me, “Sometimes you must go far to find what is near..” And so I begin again.