I Am Sigourney Weaver

We have now finished our first week here in Kenya. If, dear reader, you have actually been following this
blog you know that we have accomplished a lot. However, time in Kenya does take its toll on those who are used to a more fast paced life. Brett alternates between silent resignation and beaten down resolve in trying to use the internet to conduct his regular job. The food is its usual monotonous self and one already longs for different tastes. My American companion grows misty eyed over a recognizable Italian taste which simply cannot be had over here.

Today we took the day to sleep in. Evidently the 2 Bretts and Francis had quite the night since I was up earlier than they were.For those who know Mother in the flesh you know that rising early for me is as common as a white lobster. Nevertheless, we decided to opt for a pool day which turned out rather splendidly. However imagine if you will the theme from Jaws distantly whispering in your ear. We are going back to the hell hole know as our hotel. Da dum da dum…..

Upon arrival back at the hotel I try to straighten out the bill and get credit speaking a language never heard by human ears. Whump out pops Sigourney and we are off to the races. (You do remember her in Ghost Busters). Trust me I put her to shame. I am so pissed that I am crazy angry and there is no turning back. What Kenyans do when faced with Nasty American Bitch is fix their eyes on my cross and pray for a miracle. It usually starts with the innocent question “Are you a Christian?” Yeah and what’s that to you?
Now we’re on a roll. What does my religion have to do with their crediting my account? Are they saying that if I were a Muslim or a Jew they wouldn’t even try? You get my drift. I am now in C above High C and still ramping up. Since I have just finished the fundraiser I know how to credit a credit card. In fact I did it just last week for a person. I explain how to find the merchant I.D. a miracle they never knew of. I am also threatening total annihilation to this establishment and anyone ever connected with it. The desk guy now looks totally terrified. Hah, I have done my work. I leave him to contact whatever invisible person he must call. I flounce up to my room and wait to hear from him.
I return to my room muttering don’t mess with Nasty American Bitch and take a shower to cool down. When I have finally have let off enough steam to let the man at the desk live I go downstairs and try a new tact.I can see that there is no way he can figure out how to credit an account, so I explain to him that what he can do is comp all the meals that we have eaten in this dreary place. The bills for all 3 nights amounted to $41US. I told him that could be a Christian challenge to him to get that through to his boss and left once again to refresh my soul with a little blood letting by Dexter. Upon returning to the desk, Ken (the desk guy) says that his boss is offering to comp our dinner tonight. Blam Sigourney is back full force. I can see her needing all the thorazine they can throw at her so she doesn’t rip this guys tongue from his quivering lips.
No that won’t do I said. I could see the dodge and finally worked my way through it. They were trying to keep all the charges they had made on the bill so they would not have to issue a credit. But Nasty American White Woman would not be beaten. I told Ken that he hadn’t put through this evening’s bill for lodging and that if he did he would not see the sunset at the Sunset Hotel tomorrow. He got my drift and we were all done. And tomorrow it’s on to Nambale.