Swanky But Don't Touch

There was a man named Edwin Bernays who was known as the Doctor of Spin. He actually invented subliminal advertising and made his fortune getting women to smoke, chew gum and clean. After World War II they had to get the women out of the work force and back in the home so the guys could get their jobs back. Hmm…the women really liked working and the freedom it provided them. So Bernays came up with the idea to renovate the kitchen and make it more streamlined. Out went the old kitchen table and the icebox and in came chrome and white and shiny stuff. And it was much harder to keep clean, so the little lady had to work harder to keep the kitchen clean with all the “time saving” appliances she now had.  That was 60 years ago. 

Ooops….no I guess Bernays was also the father of the kitchen renovation.  And I’m not sure whether to be grateful or cuss the guy out. (He’s dead so he’s lucky millions of women have not risen up and killed him). Ah the renovations in the kitchen are done, and what a swanky kitchen I have. Its all white, very streamlined and what isn’t white is stainless steel. And literally that’s the rub. Now every fingerprint shows on the stainless. My daughter reassures me they make special stainless steel wipes. Great.

Then there’s all the granite. See how it shines. See the special products I now need to keep it clean. Gone is the butcher-block counter where I could slice, dice and drop hot pots. Now I have different cutting boards for different purposes. I have glass, bamboo, butcher block, and granite. BTW the granite one is so heavy I’m sure I’ll break it by week’s end.

Oh look at those white white cabinets. Wow they’re shiny and bright too. Yeah and I’ve already got some dirty fingerprints on the inside of one and yes there is a special product to get that out. 

Wow how about that sleek cook top. It’s black and stainless. It has a computer chip. It has child locks that the cats turn on by walking on the top. It takes me several minutes to unlock the cook top. And yes it has a special product to clean it too. The hood is pretty space age too. I haven’t had an exhaust fan in years, but I’m wondering how to keep the glass part clean and where to change the filter. I’m suspecting this could get really ugly.

I gave the old refrigerator away to one of the workmen for this fabulous new edition. It does everything but brush my teeth and it reminds me every 15 seconds if I leave the door open. It lets out a piercing alert that makes the dogs next-door howl with indignation and makes me want to kill the alarm. I’m going to have to read the directions to see if I can turn the little sucker off. It seems that all appliances come with beeping mechanisms now. Even the washing machine and dryer beep incessantly to tell me “Get up here you lazy sloth and clean the lint filter!”

I have the kitchen now from all the HG T.V specials, the counters from Architectural Digest, the cabinets everyone swoons over, and yes about 8 more hours in my week just to keep it clean. Maybe I’ll just look at it and get take out.

Dirt is My Friend

I see my last post was before the funeral I held yesterday. If you go by the house you should see the black bunting. I simply cannot do adequate justice to how I feel about the elections, so faced with the dreadful results I have decided to give you a bit of mirth instead.

                         The last of my ovens, and cabinets. I think that's a tool kit on top

Often people ask me about the conditions in Kenya, and I try to explain about the lack of power, the dust, and things breaking or not showing up on time.  They shake their heads as if they can’t possibly imagine it.

Guess what campers? You’re in luck; I have finally found something here stateside that imitates life in Kenya.  Destroy your house with remodeling that gives you the constant waft of dust and definitely cakes in your hair just like the roads of Nambale.

In particular try and redo the kitchen, the roof and have air-conditioning put in at the same time so that you can have the full flavor of debris.

The kitchen is an awesome example and I recommend cooking until you can cook no more. I, for one, am not daunted by the lack of counter space, nor do I mind scrubbing down things before cooking. I think, though I have met my match and may just have to start going out for some meals soon.

                           Notice the sanitary conditions of the cooking surface

However, last night, I felt the need for a Japanese chicken dish that I have not had in years. Don’t ask me why, these things just come to me at odd hours and I seem to do them. So I marinated the chicken in a plate I found under the insulation. I chopped the veggies with a paring knife I found on the floor (I had used it for opening packages); and found two pans with which to cook. Ooops no sesame oil, no matter, I guess it’s butter. I had anticipated a couple of things and did have a fresh bag of jasmine rice I had hidden in the bureau drawer in the back bedroom and I hid the fizzy water mixer in my bathroom next to the exfoliating cream. 

                                Dinner is almost ready, do come and join me

When all the people, both clients and workmen, left the house I let the kitties out and set to work. Ok, the cook top was at peak capacity but I did manage to get everything into the right pots, finish the deed and take it up to my refuge in the back bedroom. I was pretty psyched until the final part of Kenya hit me.

Alas, when putting in the ducting for the air-conditioning, they had cut the power to the bedrooms.  Ok, of all things we get used to in Kenya it’s lace of power. So I turned to my trusty halogen flashlight, polished off dinner and read my kindle. Thank heavens for batteries.

They say the electrician will be here today, but I’m not optimistic, but it’s ok. It’s raining out and I can pretend I’m at the Blue York in a storm. I’m just grateful I haven’t lost hot water yet.