OutOfOz

To know where we're going on this journey, you need to know where I've come. This is a post I put up on another site that I wrote in the fall of 07. But if we're going to have fun here, you gotta know about OZ if you are going to join me in the new castle with the new Wizards.

So I bring you Out of Oz
I fired my primary care physician today and I felt totally liberated. Ding-dong the witch is dead!!. Once upon a time when I lived in Oz and I had the Wizard for a husband I got the finest of care. I always saw the chief of the department and there was a lot of bowing and scraping that went on because I was married to the Wizard. Divorce altered all that.

Once I left Oz and the Wizard, things changed rapidly. I could no longer play with the munchkins and none of the other lesser wizards wanted me as a patient. I had to wait for a new, younger, Ozling who turned out not to be a wizard, but a witch. Since she was new to Oz she agreed to take me on as a patient. Well, honey, she may have attended the right medical school and done her residency at Man's Best Hospital, but she got her bedside manner from Attila the Hun and Voldemort. I still got to see the Chief Wizards at other hospitals( for things like parasites and malaria and female things) They didn’t think I needed to have water poured on me in hopes of my melting. And they continued to prescribe things like Hormones. But baby witch would snippily tell me she didn’t think they were a good idea, despite what the older wiser Wizards thought. I had hoped that if I ever needed a doctor, by that time, she might actually turn into a kind and gentle Wizard of the Dumbledore kind. Alas and alack that was not to be.

As the yearly visit to the witch was approaching, I received an interesting letter in the mail.It was an evaluation form to review my witch bitch. Seems my health insurance company wanted me to review the Witch. Wow, I was psyched. I set my trap; I set up the appointment and waited for the anointed day. I have had a few things happen this year that most people don’t get, (i.e. Tuberculosis from my driver). It was in my record, would she ask? Nope. Would she question the broken shoulder from the jeep accident? Nope, just said you must have osteoporosis and ordered a test that was totally unnecessary. Frankly I came out better than a lot of folks on that accident. If I hadn’t gotten my brains from the Scarecrow, this Witch might just practice such poor medicine that I could actually end up in the hospital.

I clicked my heels 3 times and was out of there. And, being that the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Lion encouraged me to give this Witch the heave ho, I did. Then I had to finagle seeing a new and powerful Wizard in a different land. Hell, I didn’t want a new baby wizard who was younger than my children and clearly got the creeps when she knew I had malaria. So, I went on the Mass. Medical Board website, picked out a couple wizards who looked good to me, called them up, told them what I did (I cheated a little and found Wizards interested in 3rd world countries) and presto, I’m off to see the new Wizard.

The moral of the story here is that we mustn’t tolerate bad medical care. We mustn’t be intimidated by Wizards or tolerate baby wizards who call us by our first name while requiring us to call them wizard. We must recognize witches and pour lots of soapy water on them. And most of all we must believe in ourselves and whenever confronted with a not so good wizard, click those red shoes and leave Oz.
Be good to yourselves y’all.