A Turning Point

Francis, my driver says, "you must go far to find what is near." Sometimes decisions are like that. Sometimes you can't know what to do, until you put yourself through a turning point and have faith you'll come through it. 

I knew I wouldn’t be going back. It weighed heavily on my mind as I readied for this last trip. I wasn’t positive, but with the strikes and the grenades and the problems I had last year, I just didn’t think I could keep doing it. And I had no idea how things would work out if I didn’t keep going. That’s where faith fits in.

Everyone in Kenya was glad I was back. They wanted to see if I could walk, if I tired easily, and frankly would I come back. (Last year I got chased by a man with a machete and wound up with a broken leg that went unset for 3 days). It’s no easy feat to go back again when you’re 65 after that.

I knew the teachers were on strike, I knew the doctors were on strike. I knew that I couldn’t get hurt or sick. What I didn’t know was the way for the work I do over there. I fully believe that God put me in Africa to teach me both patience and surrender. I can assure you that if I got any of either of those in my birth package, I only got the sample size. Both would be needed to get through this trip.

As the weeks unfolded, however, I saw how the community organizers were really changing the attitudes of the people. And I saw that not only did I not need to be physically present when we brought a new school on board, but it was better if my little muzungu (white girl) face didn’t show up. It sent a mixed message, since white people are always associated with donors not empowerment.

I left my beloved Kenya, not knowing when or if I would be back. I didn’t say goodbye to my partners over there. I hadn’t told my board yet and they needed to know my decision first.And maybe I couldn't say goodbye because I didn't want it to be goodbye.  I felt sad, glad, scared, love, and accomplishment as I boarded the plane. The work will go on.  And Kenya will always be a heart home whether I return or not.