I Won't Need This Gun Anymore

He was only 17 and a very brave  boy at that. It was the early 90's and he dared to come out in High School long before it was acceptable. His father threw him out of the house and he was living with an aunt. I was his therapist.

He was totally despondent and called to tell me he was going to kill himself. He couldn't take the name calling or the rejection. I asked him to come to my home in Boston, which, back then, was located at ground zero for gay men. I told him he could kill himself after he visited me. He said he would come.

That evening the guys came home from work. It was a soft spring night and sitting on the stoop is what we did. The men came up to say hi, as was the custom and I introduced the young man to Dan the doctor, his partner Tim the teacher. He met Terry the banker and Richard the lawyer and on and on.

As it got dark the boy got out his back pack and fumbled in it. He took something out. He said to me," I knew I could grow up to be a man, but I didn't know I could grow up to be a gay man." And with that he handed me the gun and said he wouldn't need it anymore.